I don't know if my old english grammar worked, anyways, I was just being artistic..but this is just one of those days I feel so helpless, nothing  to talk to but myself, my thoughts and my prayers..I once was a smart girl, not on aspects of life but in school. I loved school, everyhting about it..Getting to learn new things especially when I got my dream  course..ECE..Engineering for me was a passion, I could never have been better in any other courses but this one is meant for me. Learning about electronics, its priniciples, doing diagrams understanding current-voltage relationship and the like, all about telecommunications and how each of them are computed to make a good design..I was really a good student. I have passed most of my subjects and there were times I did well..I was a fan of Mathematics, I can easily undestood a mathematical equation and solve it right away..I can study for hours and use the scientific calculator to derived a solution from the problem..

Now..I give a big sigh..After 4 1/2 years in college, including the 6 months review I did for my professional licensure which made it 5 years for my passion in Electronics and Communications Engineering course, now I end up as a Nursing assistant just to survive in this country..Sometimes it makes me feel lonely, but I don't want to sound ungrateful, because I know the Good Lord put me here and blessed me a lot...

The thing is, there are times I can't help but ask myself where has it gone? Why am I here, why is my brain now dead and I cannot remember anything about what I have learned...

I sometimes cry but those tears won't give me back the years I spend working as a call center agent just to earn more money..if I would have been wiser...if I could have been more patient to take low-pay jobs in order to get some experience..if only I would have known,,oh well, they say "nasa huli ang pagsisi"...

Sometimes I wanted to go back, but I have to pay the rent, and now I am building a family..probably if only I could just let my smartness be known to others here...but humility must always comes first...and I don't know where to start..I wanted to think I am a failure but I know, it is not yet the end of the road, I am still young...It is also my fault, nothing to blame but myself, no one forced me to be here..It is because I had fail my love for engineering eversince I started to have a career not related to it..I failed, but I hope I will be able to rise again..someday...somehow...